July 16, 2011

This is for Marg and Faz

 

Mess05

If you haven’t read it yet, you gotta go see Marg's Pets new “Don't Mess Wif Your Kitty Post.”  It was Mr. Puddy's, “Don't Mess With Your Kitty Post” that started it all.

We have no doubt everyone has seen this before, but we just could NOT pass this opportunity up!

cat-pill

How to Give a Cat a Pill in 20 Easy Steps

  1. Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.
  2. With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Drop pill into mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
  3. Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
  4. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth.
  5. Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.
  6. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
  7. Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
  8. Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
  9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
  10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.
  11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
  12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.
  13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.
  14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.
  15. Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with the cat, and close the door.
  16. Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.
  17. Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that cats can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure its paws can't come out this time. With fingers at either side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his, not yours).
  18. Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.
  19. Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours.
  20. Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

Part of that number 20 is just not allowed!  We apologize to all the kitties out there about this post.  But for some reason, our humans think its funny.

Sneaky Pie

We don’t.

______________________________________________

And this one, this picture is for Faz the Cat and his “How Long Do You Think It Will Take Me,” Post.

cat_guilty

This one…

Sneaky Pie

…we like :-)

22 comments:

Furkidsmom said...

MOL Mom doesn't get far with pills around here. Angel Sniffie let Daddy pill her (a couple of times) but we pretty much do the spit out thingy.

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

Willow said...

Humans have a very strange sense of humor and I learned that it is best to let them have their bit of fun.

Tina T-P said...

Hello Kwee Cats! Thank you for coming to welcome us to the interwebs.

Mummy didn't think that the pill story was too funny, she said that what how it was with Sinda (the one who came before) Seriously!

Hope you are having a great weekend!

George & Gracie & their Mummy, T.

Team Tabby said...

We want to thank you for taking time to wish Cookie all the best in the return of his sight. We are purring for that too. Right now Cookie is just glad to be home again.

Prancer Pie said...

We enjoyed that funny post! Great pics, too! Have an easy Sunday, kittehz!

MoMo said...

Many of those 20 sound awfully familiar. Pills don't get very far in this household, not with the furry member anyway.

Marg said...

No forgiveness needed. We kitties don't think this is funny at all but Mom is laughing herself silly. We have seen it before and think it is very funny and think about it everytime we think about Squeaky. Very very funny. Take care and have a great Sunday.

Brian said...

Too fun gang! Hey, believe it or not I don't mind pills, nobody here does, but then again I like my claws clipped too! Have a great Easy Sunday.

Huffle Mawson said...

Hi there kitties! You came to visit me and Teddy a while back and we have been very slack about coming over to say hello. I blame my secretary who is amazingly lazy sometimes.

Anyway, hello, and it's nice to meet you all!

Amanda said...

Hi Kwee Cats! Thanks for checking in on us, that was sweet of you. I was working out of town for a few weeks without Tobi but we're back together now! Anyways, I haven't seen this before and it was so funny! I laughed harder and harder the more I read! Thanks for posting it!

Katnip Lounge said...

heh heh.
This is all too TRUE!

Teri and the cats of Curlz and Swirlz said...

Hi...we came to visit from Fuzzy Tails and yes, we think bipeds have a strange sense of humor, especially when they are laffin at us cats!

Team Tabby said...

We don't mind your putting my picture on your blog, I need lots of good vibes & wishes so I can see again!

Cookie

ABBY said...

OH goodness why is Momma laughing? I don't think it is a bit funny. *umfh* If she ever tried to pill me you can bet I would put her through 40 steps!

Abby purrs

Au and Target said...

MOL, we do think it's funny :-)

sandyland said...

My cats Toppy, Darlin, Bitty Bopper, Pinky , Kissipurr, Handsome, Evigny Mimue and Angel Baby are laughing a lot..sk

Hannah and Lucy said...

Mum laughed cos she has to give Hannah a tablet every other day!!
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Photo Cache said...

our mama is rolling on the floor laughing. i think she may have wet her pants too :)

emma and buster.

Mr Puddy said...

OMC !!! This is so Funny !!!! We laf and laf even mom didn't have experience to give a pill for me yet, but she took note !

Thank you to play with me, and again for so late here
xoxo

Ozark Mountain Cats said...

The biped's tried at least a dozen of these techniques and she has the scars to show for it.

The Chair Speaks said...

We don't mean to laugh but that shocked look of the first photo is so funny...and cute!
LOL! Not easy steps any more from number 3 onwards.

Christine and FAZ said...

A long time FAZ